The End

A couple weeks ago, I decided I was going to quit pumping. I went through a time where I really felt guilty about stopping, like I am doing a big disservice to Toots. I know that breastmilk is the best source of nutrition for him and I am really glad he was able to get it for a little over 5 months and I hope to be able to keep it up with our next kid longer than that, but with having to solely pump and never being able to actually breastfeed him, it was becoming so tiring and challenging. I started pumping only twice per day at the beginning of June and did that for two weeks, then I went to once a day and then I stopped.

I almost feel like it made it harder to pump since I stay home with him. I know that probably sounds kind of crazy, but here's what I mean: If I pumped while he was awake, I would have to hope he could entertain himself for 30-40 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes two to three more times during the day. You moms out there know that it's hard to keep a very small child occupied without crying for that amount of time without playing with them yourself. I tried to do it while he was napping sometimes but I have SO many other things that I need to do while he's napping - cleaning, doing work, preparing food. I couldn't do work while I was pumping because I have to have a ton of documents spread around since I am doing title work and it was nearly impossible to be able to have everything out along with the pump and be able to move around like I needed to.

I also felt like I pretty much had to revolve my life around pumping. I had to make sure I had time to do it everyday, if we were at a family member's house for the weekend or travelling elsewhere, I would have to leave everyone for 20 to 40 minutes to go pump, bring the pump and all the accessories with me everywhere, etc. If Toots would still have breastfed off of me, there is no question in my mind that I would still be doing it. I had just gotten to the point where I enjoyed it when he got the cold and decided he wouldn't nurse anymore. I think some people probably think I am making it up when I say he refused to nurse anymore or think that I didn't try hard enough to get him to start again, but I WANTED him to continue nursing, so I promise I am not making it up and I didn't just take the easy way out. I feel that pumping was much, much more work than him just breastfeeding, so I was definitely not doing it by choice.

He doesn't seem to notice any difference that he's not getting breastmilk anymore and hasn't had any issues. I did try to switch him from Similac Sensitive to Earth's Best Organic Formula and it made him gassy and constipated, so I had to switch back. I'm planning on asking the doctor at his six month appointment if there's anyway to gradually switch him over.

Anyway, I just wanted to write a post on here about it as kind of an update of something going on in our lives at this point. I'm still a little sad about it but happy I was able to do it for the amount of time I did. And, like I said, I plan on trying to do it longer with the next kid.